Every friendship needs to undergo some sort of trial. This strengthens the bond, or so they say. So why does it seem like this test is staining our so-called friendship? I know he's irritated at the way I disagree with his opinions, but hey, I am but expressing myself. That's how I see things, and nothing can change that. If he couldn't handle the way I deal with stuff, then I guess...it's time to be real: We might as well just keep our mouths shut from now on.
Maybe this trip will do us both some good, a little bit of fresh air and some nature tripping. I'm not expecting any of us to talk to each other, though, which is alright for me 'cause I wouldn't want my blood to raise up to a level so unacceptable that I would just make a total fool out of myself. Just get this over with, I keep telling myself.
It's hard to accept something about a person the first time you realize that he/she has that irritating trait. Try as I may to accept this side of him now, I can't. Not yet, that is. I still need some time to digest the reality that spending a lot of time with him will eventually allow me to see the entirety of his being and swallow every little bit of what he's made of. As of this moment, I'm trying to remember all the good times we had and the non-shallow, non-superficial talks we used to have, just to try to convince myself that we're still cool.
It's obvious I'm getting into his nerves, as well. Then I guess, it's a good thing we're not travelling on the same car. The really surprising thing is that I felt relieved when he said that I needed to ride on the other car. As much as he didn't want me sitting on the passenger seat for four hours and more, I didn't want to be there listening to his ramblings about things that used to make me laugh, but just annoys me now.
I never thought he could piss me off. Then again, there is a reason for everything.
Whatever it is, I still hope it doesn't mean the end of our friendship. I just really need some time to accept this new-found side of him.
- Kirsten
