On the way home tonight, so many thoughts just came running through my head. It's the first day of the month. January flew by so fast...as if in a blink of an eye. And I tried to recall, what important deed have I done? Somehow, I just couldn't think of anything. I haven't been spending time with myself, as in the way I used to when the only companion I'd have for an entire afternoon would be my journal and a pen. Almost two years have passed, and my journal hasn't been filled yet. Talk about getting too caught up with the rackets of mortality.
Work has been better. I don't think I would like to be anywhere else, because my teammates have been like family, and although the workload sometimes stresses me out, the laughter I share with them detoxifies me. I honestly feel as if I got lucky being where I am now. It doesn't matter if my life isn't at all perfect, what matters to me is that I am actually loving it, despite the disappointments and harshness of reality.
The other day, I began pondering about friendship, and here are a few things I came up with:
1. It's not about what your friends can do for you, but what you can do for them.
2. It's not about hearing what they have to say, but listening to their hearts and to the things they can't say.
3. It's about extending your patience when you feel you've had it up to your neck with them.
4. It's about keeping personal information confidential between the two of you even when he/she didn't tell you it was a secret, and especially when he/she told you not to tell anybody else.
5. It's about not arguing with them when they're drunk.
6. It's about letting them commit mistakes in life, but make sure they learn from it.
7. It's about humility, not pride.
8. It's about loving unconditionally.
9. It's not about how many times you've made them smile, but how many times you allowed them to cry.
10. It's not about using a criteria checklist to prove one's loyalty.
11. It's about forgetting the hurt caused.
12. It's knowing when to stop when they said no, and when to keep going even when they tell you to stop.
13. It's allowing them to sing and dance even when it's the most terrible thing you've ever seen and heard.\
14. It's about giving them the freedom to follow their hearts.
15. It's about laughing together and laughing at each other for each silly deed.
16. It's about writing letters, whether via email or post mail.
17. It's about saying "I love you", and actually mean it, without expectations.
18. It's about not putting the other in deep water.
19. It's about swimming together and not pulling each other down.
20. It's about including them as part of your future.
21. It's entertaining his/her questions while watching a movie.
22. It's giving him/her a cup of coffee when he/she had too much to drink.
23. It's not allowing him/her be used by another person.
24. It's telling him/her to calm down when he/she is already making a fool out of himself/herself.
25. It's assuring him/her that what other people say doesn't matter as long as they have each other. The strength they get from one another is enough to get them through other people's critical judgements.
I know some of these statements are ironies of one another. But you know what, life is full of ironies. I guess we just practically need to strike a balance, to know what to do when and where. All I know is that, there are a lot of things I would give up and do for a friend, not because I see it as an obligation, but simply because I love him/her.
I am contented with the friends that I have now. There is nothing that could make me trade the joys and sorrows I've had with them. Time and distance may keep as apart, but in my heart, they are always with me. I see the smile they used to send my way, while walking down the corridors or while having lunch/dinner with everybody else. It's such a refreshing feeling whenever I think of the people who have shared my life with me. Others have come and gone already, but there are those who are still staying. And somehow, knowing that I have them just brings so much fulfillment.
