Just Today...Leave me be =)

It's Valentine's Day...there's a reason for people to become sappy and mushy...and I hate it when the spirit of the season gets to me. Good thing, it's just one day.


So, let me have today...just today...to be true to myself...give me these remaining hours to miss him and feel the pain all over again...because perhaps the hurt never left...the heartbreak was only covered...because I knew I had to move on...

Missing you

- Freestyle

I've been through so much pain since you left me

I just can't convince myself we're through

Things have been said and done

I guess it's over now you're gone
It's true when they say that lovers come and go

But deep in my heart I just wanna let you know

The love that we once shared is everything

That there's nothing to compare
Chorus:
'Coz I'm missing you so bad

Now that you're not by my side

I guess you could say it's me

Who's hurting so bad after all this time
After all that we've been through

Baby aren't you hurtin' too

Now that I've lost the power to pretend no no no

I guess you could see right through me
This yearnin' I can't explain

Feeling I just cannot contain

I know someday I'll get over you

It just takes time and some getting used to

Each day I'm feeling blue

Every road leads me back to you

My only regret is this (though this should not be my regret at all): I wish he gave me the chance, gave us the opportunity...before he decided, before he finally chose her over me.

I wish he didn't make me believe it was love he was feeling. I wish that things weren't so complicated between us. I wish he didn't have to lie. I wish he didn't tell me he loved me if he really didn't. I wish he trusted me. I wish he didn't give me a cd with a compilation ofall the songs which reminded him of me. I wish I was the only one in his life. I wish he knew how to fight for me. I wish he...really loved me.

But it is such crap to believe that he did love me. A person who loved you would never do anything to hurt you, would never hold another's hand even when you have your back turned...

New Year's Eve...
Him: I love you

Me <= dumbfounded, speechless

Him: Do you love me?

Me: I love you.

Saying these words now prove to be worthless.

After New Year's Eve:
Friend: Is she your girlfriend?

Him: Just a friend...

Me <= blank...

Trust me, you'll feel numb after getting hit by a thousand bricks over and over again...

I went home that night with the decision to stay away for good. For the second time, I was denied. A bestfriend, a friend...that's all I'll ever be. You know what's keeping him from telling them about me? He never told me, but then again, I know he would die before he ever admitted it. He couldn't leave her. Still, he loved her more than he loved me.

What do we mean to each other

- Sergio Mendes

I'd rather know if you had turned the page

If you go faster than I do

Suddenly it's not so clear just what I am to you

Am I friend, am I lover, do we still need each other

When you touch me, when you touch me baby I can tell
What do we mean to each other, am I friend, am I lover is it over now

If this is it then why bother tell me where do we take it from here

What do we mean to each other am I friend ,am I lover, is it over now

Do you love me still or do you just mean well
I can see clearly how im hurting you

Every breath gives you a way

All we go on separate roads has gone in the way.

Am I friend, am I lover, do we still need each other

When you hold me, when you hold me baby I can tell
What do we mean to each other, am I friend, am I lover is it over now

If this is it then why bother tell me where do we take it from here

What do we mean to each other am I friend ,am I lover, is it over now

Do you love me still or do you just mean well
Time became a poison looking slowly on my home

Screwing all the memories, Is it tearing us apart

When you touch me, when you touch me baby I can tell
What do we mean to each other, am I friend, am I lover is it over now

If this is it then why bother tell me where do we take it from here

What do we mean to each other am I friend ,am I lover, is it over now

Do you love me still or do you just mean well
What do we mean to each other, am I friend, am I lover is it over now

If this is it then why bother tell me where do we take it from here

What do we mean to each other am I friend ,am I lover, is it over now

Do you love me still or do you just mean well
Do you love me still or do you just mean well

I was a warrior deemed to lose, meant to die, not just fall...because just when I thought I was fighting the good fight, the man whom I was fighting the battle for was the one who stabbed a knife straight into my heart.

I know, it has been a year and six months since he left me bruised, but sometimes the cut still stings as if it were fresh...I know I should just forget, forgive and prod on...but how could I when I am still secretly waiting, hoping that the stars would align for me and that he'd realize we were meant to be? How could I move on if I am loving him still in silence, despite my cold treatment and escape?

This is me...the pathetic me...still in love with him...God knows for how long.

But tomorrow, I'll be telling you...I'm so over him.

Last Thing

- Diana Anaid

I'll stay away Dont have to face this

It's my mistake And no one's business
I'm trying not to want to hurt him

Trying not to start this up again
He's in my way And no surprises

It's been all day Somehow survived it
I'm trying not to want to hurt him

Trying not to start this up again
Chorus: It's the last thing thats I need right now

Someone to bring me down

And I've got a rule that I have made up now he moved out

No way, no boys allowed

And there's a reason why I keep my distance

Don't think you're gonna understand

This is the last thing that I need right now
No need to stay

My choice, i made it

I keep away

Don't have to take it
'Cause I'm trying not to want to hurt him

Trying not to start this up again
(Chorus)
Don't need a boyfriend

Not one like him

Don't wanna be the foolish girl I was

And end up worse again

You say It's from me

I'll be keeping away

Don't wanna be the same foolish girl again
I'll stay away

Don't have to face this

It's my mistake And no one's business
I am trying not to want to hurt him

Trying not to start this up again
(Chorus)