The problem with me is that I think too much, but I can't help it. Every time I sit around, do nothing, or even just watch TV, I'm not really listening nor watching what's in front of me because something else is on my mind. It's like I'm trying to find myself every minute, thinking about what may seem like nonsense to other people...and I know the reason why I couldn't get it out of my system. It's simply because I have lacked the strength to become totally honest, even with myself. I can't write what's in my head, just like before, because if I do, new revelations would surface, then my life would either come rolling down the hill or meet tomorrow's sunrise with a smile on my face.

This is the very first weekend, after such a very long time, that I have felt freedom. For so many days, I felt so choked up, to the point of vomitting every toxin in my brain and body. But the most important part of my existence that I just really want to revive is my soul. I feel as if I am a nomad, searching for answers that could not be found, once again. As I actually sit in front of my pc, my fingers are just typing away. I'm tired of thinking...and there's really nothing I could do to stop it. I think this is a disease.

The one thing that's bothering me is this innate nature of human beings. Why couldn't we just be satisfied with what we have? Why couldn't we simply savor the blessings that have come our way? I think the reason why my soul is listless is because I, too, cannot find it in me to be contented with what I have. I can be happy. I can smile every minute of every hour of every day, but why couldn't I?

I try to tell myself not to complain too much, not to be so engrossed with the superficiality of it all, but I can't help it if I give in. Who could blame me, right? I am but human.

*Argh!* I don't know what's wrong.