Believe it or not, but I'm enjoying work!
Daryl warned me about the company being really toxic and all, but I just love it! Somehow, I think I'm getting the hang of it...even when my brain goes from calm and patient to panicky and really, really jittery. Come to think of it, God heard my prayers and knew what was really best for me. He knew that I wouldn't fit in a job, which required going out often, or the kind of job that would have to deal with many people. Maybe He thinks I'm just not ready for that yet...or that I'm not the kind at all.
It doesn't bother me that I have to face a computer all day long, because I don't even notice time slipping away. It's like doing a thesis all over again, or a report that's due the next day, and I'm cramming. That's exactly how it feels! The only difference is that, I shouldn't waste a single minute of my time. Unlike in college, I had the time to spare to watch TV before completing a paper. Now, I also have to be considerate of other people...because they won't be able to finish their tasks if I don't do my part well. (Wow...I guess I am learning the value of interdependence.)
When I was still looking for a job, I prayed that God would give me a good one...I promised that I wouldn't complain no matter how difficult or demanding it would be. So, even when my brain gets squeezed all the time, I'm still grateful for this opportunity. Though, there are times when I just wished it didn't have to be so difficult, then again, I realize that hardwork and perserverance are very important factors to consider to help me get to where I want to go. I constantly remind myself to be patient...because in His time, there will be better days.
However, there are times when I also wish I could have complete 8 hours of sleep...You know, when I wouldn't have to go home at 11:00 in the evening.
Sigh. Anyway, I guess what matters is that I'm taking the first step towards a better life for me and my family. It's all that matters actually.
