I am woman.
Eve.
Mother Earth.
I am woman.

I am not Barbie.
Toy.
Plastic.
I am not Barbie.

'Nuf said.
-----------------------

It's just Wednesday. Darn.
I hope it's Friday already.

My eyes are burning from looking at the pc 24/7. Well, not really 24/7, but it does feel like it. Hell! Even as I close my eyes, I can see blinking lights. Then, there's the nauseaous feeling every afternoon. Good thing the pink spots have gone! It's really embarrasing, especially the marks that formed at my neck. I've been to the clinic a couple of times although I've been really stubborn not to follow the nurse. She told me to go to Patient's First and have a doctor look at me. Although I was feeling all these weird things, I still didn't go. It's a waste of time, I told myself.

But, alas, my mother has been pushing me, as well. She's worried in a way, because I'm not that energetic as I used to be. She's afraid the fatigue is going to make me sick...or has already made me sick. I'm just really good at hiding it, but mothers know it when their children are down in the dumps.

Nowadays, when I get home in the evening, I go straight to my room, play Jennifer Love Hewitt's first cd, then just sit for a while in my bed. As in, just sit. Although I push myself to stop thinking, my efforts are futile. So, when I'm fed up with all the thoughts racing through my head, I would grab the towel hanging on my door, and go take a bath. Somehow, it doesn't matter if I haven't rested enough after a long day. All I want is to hear the water running, to feel it wetting my skin, and to whisper a prayer to God thanking Him the day finally ended.

I haven't had a decent conversation with my parents for what seemed like ages already. I just usually feel really tired, whether in the morning or in the evening, even to talk. I think it's also due to the fact that I'm restless even as I sleep. I've been dreaming for consecutive nights now, but these are the kind of dreams that leave you weary upon waking up. I think my soul has been doing a lot of travelling...but I haven't found the time to even confront myself...to tell myself that I NEED to have a break.

Oh dear God.