My goodness. Despite all effort to maintain a happy disposition, there will always be people who would try to ruin that almost perfect mood. I know I have the choice to not get affected, but how could I not be affected when it is my integrity that's at stake? I'm not perfect. I know that. I have a lot of flaws...but at least I'm trying...don't I deserve any respect? Or is this simply the curse for being a woman?

I remember asking my dad a few years back if it would be okay for him if I expressed my views on sexuality. (You see, we're the father and daughter type who talked about a lot of things while driving on the way home or while watching the evening news...as in our topics would range from politics, economics up to the latest showbiz announcement.) Then, I told him that I was a feminist, although not a radical one. And he didn't react negatively, as I imagined. In fact, he accepted it. I think that's why he never questions my decisions whenever it came to boy-matters. He does ask me questions like, "What's wrong with this one?" or, "Why don't you like him?". Sometimes I think he has lost his patience in me having a relationship. Isn't that just the oddest thing?! While I was studying, they were strict in telling me that my studies needed to come first, but then right after graduation, he was asking me if there was anybody I wanted to introduce to him. Well, up to now, there isn't anybody that I have introduced to him. Let's just say I haven't been in that situation wherein the guy was worthy to be introduced to my father. The good thing, though, is that he has accepted my decision to delay anything that has to do with my love life for now. I have actually asked his permission to grant me the freedom not to haste myself into falling in love with anybody as of the moment.

There are times when I just wish I could meet a guy who wouldn't take me as a challenge, just some kind of added spice in his polygamous life.

I don't want to have a boyfriend just because everybody else does.

I don't want to settle for a guy who would stop courting you just because you're already a couple.

I don't want to act as if I'm in love just to prove to the whole world that my love life is going perfectly smooth.

I don't want to pretend holding a person's hand just because he held mine.

I still do want to love someone...because I truly, honestly do.