tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64230902011-11-09T14:58:49.068+08:00I'm no Goddess...definitely not an alpha nor an omega, but I am perfectly me. I create love because I choose to be a fountain, not a drain.keep smilingnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1011100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-57667349981933984902008-04-12T12:07:00.002+08:002008-04-12T12:22:26.285+08:00

I need to be surrounded by happy people, those who don't give a damn about emotions and stuff like that. I've been too emotional the past few weeks, intentionally or not. I read somewhere that stress might be causing it, and I would agree. I don't have time to spend at home anymore. My mom and dad are sweet enough to wake up each time I get home around past midnight, but the only conversations

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-18393134972450366432008-03-09T19:06:00.002+08:002008-03-09T19:18:57.359+08:00

Well, life is still unfair, so it seems...but there are happy days, and I have been cherishing every single moment of it. Confusion is still a part of my life, and there are ill attempts to bring reason into everything. However, I still know better. Sometimes, it's better to ask and not wait for answers...Yes, I will keep on asking even if I won't get any replies. At least, asking means I still

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-72228495906879060802007-06-21T10:58:00.000+08:002007-06-21T11:34:27.384+08:00

THOUGHT FOR THE DAYThe problem with people is that we only look for short-term solutions. As a result, the problem never really goes away. But what if our problem is the system? What if we know the rootcause, but don't know the ultimate solution? Perhaps, because everybody has something to say...each one of us has a principle, a belief that guides daily living...Given this, it makes me wonder,

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-58022706068228896592007-04-08T14:19:00.000+08:002007-06-21T11:37:32.305+08:00

I just realized how I'm becoming like my father as every single day passes by, especially when it comes to dealing with people in the workplace. Somehow, there's a battle waging inside of me as to which behavior I must exude. Sometimes, I get exhausted as I end up realizing that 90% of my day was spent pretending as to what I really felt. The masks worn each day are slowly getting thicker and

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-33435412922383748222007-04-04T13:43:00.000+08:002007-04-04T14:27:01.972+08:00

FREEWAYThe Grand Canyon trip pushed through two weekends ago. I can't believe I actually got to drive on the freeway for about two hours, with barely enough sleep. Perhaps the adrenaline rush was caused by the anxiety and need for speed. At 100 mph, it was more fearful to stop than to keep speeding. Again, the entire experience taught me something. LIfe flashes by before us, so we say. However,

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-86025661994723036332007-03-25T13:49:00.000+08:002007-03-25T14:19:34.007+08:00

Every friendship needs to undergo some sort of trial. This strengthens the bond, or so they say. So why does it seem like this test is staining our so-called friendship? I know he's irritated at the way I disagree with his opinions, but hey, I am but expressing myself. That's how I see things, and nothing can change that. If he couldn't handle the way I deal with stuff, then I guess...it's time

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-70040422662918033342007-03-25T02:54:00.000+08:002007-03-25T02:55:17.913+08:00

i am haunted by my frustrations, yet i don't do anything about it i smile, yet my soul is like a siren wailing inside of me i don't want to die a slow death, yet i smoke i run and swim, yet reality keeps gaining up on me i don't want to be in love, yet i ami deny everything that is my very existence because the only person i am afraid of being totally honest with is myself

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-45674919795703806812007-03-22T10:37:00.000+08:002007-03-22T11:03:13.805+08:00

I'm super hungry! Unfortunately, I'm still in the office, and unfortunately, I'm not in Makati, where McDo's are everywhere and super near. What I need to do is go home and eat, but I can't because I'm still in the middle of a call. The past few weeks have been okay, but missing home is starting to creep up my spine. I actually tried to block the feeling, yet it's inevitable. I can't stop

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-57404302052073022552007-03-12T03:02:00.000+08:002007-03-12T03:36:38.433+08:00

The other day, one of the employees in the office asked us to get some food at the conference room. It really looked good, except that the taste didn't quite meet my expectations...and I guess there's a reason why. Hadn't the taste been so terrible, I wouldn't have appreciated the fortune cookies. I didn't think that the actual cookies could be eaten, but I would have missed something so good if

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-2546214612590224512007-03-10T01:18:00.000+08:002007-03-10T01:28:17.052+08:00

9 months have passed. Could it be that I am re-born, in a superficial womb created by my imagination? Or is it by faith? New layout. New face. Old feelings. Old emotions. Just memories. I'm at a loss for words. Seems like the only communcation method I've mastered is the IF-ELSE-END-IF method. Time to pick myself up.

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1151838160923524422006-07-02T18:46:00.000+08:002006-07-02T19:02:40.936+08:00

The problem with me is that I think too much, but I can't help it. Every time I sit around, do nothing, or even just watch TV, I'm not really listening nor watching what's in front of me because something else is on my mind. It's like I'm trying to find myself every minute, thinking about what may seem like nonsense to other people...and I know the reason why I couldn't get it out of my system.

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1141390704439089482006-03-03T20:52:00.000+08:002006-03-03T20:58:24.453+08:00

This is the first time I am ever going to admit this in public, but I guess there is no better time than now. I have become numb to the emotion that takes you up on a wild rollercoaster ride. I have become no longer afraid, but above the feelings of sentimentality and false hopes. Believe it or not, but I have completely lost faith that I would ever be granted the opportunity of finding true love

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1138795256121259482006-02-01T19:35:00.000+08:002006-02-01T20:00:56.166+08:00

On the way home tonight, so many thoughts just came running through my head. It's the first day of the month. January flew by so fast...as if in a blink of an eye. And I tried to recall, what important deed have I done? Somehow, I just couldn't think of anything. I haven't been spending time with myself, as in the way I used to when the only companion I'd have for an entire afternoon would be my

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1137325982806935152006-01-15T19:08:00.001+08:002006-01-15T19:53:02.820+08:00

I am a very boring person. I like to talk, and make fun of myself, but all in all, I just really want to be stuck in one side of the room not doing anything everybody else is doing. Let's just say I'm a non-conformist as to what my generation does. Call me a killjoy and it won't even bother me. When I was in college, I used to drink beer with friends. You know, it seemed like the "barkada" thing

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1135170681235940942005-12-21T20:43:00.000+08:002005-12-21T21:11:21.276+08:00

My goodness. Despite all effort to maintain a happy disposition, there will always be people who would try to ruin that almost perfect mood. I know I have the choice to not get affected, but how could I not be affected when it is my integrity that's at stake? I'm not perfect. I know that. I have a lot of flaws...but at least I'm trying...don't I deserve any respect? Or is this simply the curse

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1133690576552816982005-12-04T17:27:00.000+08:002005-12-29T09:34:52.446+08:00

Sigh. Can I just say that today I am happy. I don't know why, but I am. It's like today is one of those days when peace of mind has come into my soul, and I have gladly accepted it.

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1132014687694068192005-11-15T08:11:00.000+08:002005-11-15T13:08:52.733+08:00

While walking down Dela Costa Street this morning, as I was on my way to GT Tower for the day's training, a realization struck me: People all want to know the truth, but what we fail to conceive is whether or not we could handle the truth. I'm not saying that I am pro-dishonesty. I am not. All I tried to figured out was what we do after we find out the truth. How do you handle the fact that the

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1130586670802625992005-10-29T19:41:00.000+08:002005-10-29T19:55:09.910+08:00

One of the many things I have learned all throughout my 23 years of existence is this: the world may be unfair but making the journey worthwhile is up to us. There came a point in my life when I almost gave up due to the disappointment of finding out about the harshness of reality. I still distinctly remember looking outside my high school classrom, at the field outside, and wondering about what

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1130585949674490612005-10-29T19:12:00.000+08:002005-10-29T19:39:09.710+08:00

There is a history lying underneath the sheets, not that of bare vulgarity, but that of sweet and tempted innocence: an innocence bestowed upon our then cherubed souls, but we allowed to drift away, only to be sought again. This story is a story of truthful contentment and of simple happiness, free from all the complexities of paradoxical definition.This story is not at all mine, but

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1129264144465289902005-10-14T12:27:00.000+08:002005-10-14T12:29:04.473+08:00

I have this really strange feeling that I'm going to die because of brain cancer. I don't know why, but I think that's how I'm going to die. Even when the fortune teller sitting along Faura told me that I was going to live long, I don't think he's quite right.If I trust my instincts, I do believe that I am going to die because of a tumor in my brain that would block all my capacity to think, to

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1128509724447372382005-10-05T18:37:00.000+08:002005-10-05T18:55:24.456+08:00

I am woman.Eve.Mother Earth.I am woman.I am not Barbie.Toy.Plastic.I am not Barbie. 'Nuf said.-----------------------It's just Wednesday. Darn.I hope it's Friday already. My eyes are burning from looking at the pc 24/7. Well, not really 24/7, but it does feel like it. Hell! Even as I close my eyes, I can see blinking lights. Then, there's the nauseaous feeling every afternoon. Good thing the pink

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1128218676302810692005-10-02T09:56:00.000+08:002005-10-02T10:04:36.310+08:00

Galing sa blog ni Itchan... at dahil wala rin akong magawa... hehe =)1. what kind of first impression do you think people say when they first see you?- nada. i'm common, not a head-turner. i don't make any impressions at all. 2. what's one thing you like to do alone?- think. stare into space. look at the stars. think...and think more. 3. what is your favorite line to say when you're drunk?-

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1128063041423573022005-09-30T14:48:00.000+08:002005-09-30T20:01:44.406+08:00

Somebody made my heart skip a beat today. Was quite unusual really. I haven't felt that way for a long time now, and I almost thought I wasn't capable of feeling that way again.But...He had that smile, a smile that would make any girl fall head over heels in love with him, yet I feel he doesn't think so. And that quiet laugh, almost a whisper, seemed to ring in my ear even when I'm listening to

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1127994122876920082005-09-29T19:41:00.000+08:002005-09-29T19:47:53.960+08:00

Who am I to need you when I'm down Where are you when I need you around Your life is not your own And all I ask you Is for another chance Another way around you To live by circumstance, once again Who am I to need you now To ask you why to tell you no To deserve your love and sympathy You were never meant to belong to me And you may go, but I know you won't leave Too many years built into

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1127993987604295122005-09-29T19:36:00.000+08:002005-09-29T19:39:47.610+08:00

It's been a while. Couldn't actually believe how a month could fly by so fast, but it has, and months will keep on flying us by. I haven't seen my bestfriend in what seems like ages already and I just feel drained. Sigh. I wonder how all my friends are doing.********************************** I've cut down on smoking. Good thing, right? But I've been getting depressed over the past few days, and

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1126104307909777202005-09-07T22:27:00.000+08:002005-10-02T09:44:09.030+08:00

I'm no longer a child. This realization has struck me for the millionth time. Try as I may to bring back every reality I had before, these only serve as mere glimpses now, somewhat like a dream that has faded, engulfed by a smoke. Sometimes, I stare into space thinking about how many humps I've gone through, yet older people would tell me that I still have a lot to experience. It makes me wonder

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1124799019201037412005-08-23T19:57:00.000+08:002005-08-23T20:10:19.210+08:00

Elaborate on the existing facts, but do not attempt to see any difference from the then and now. I came into this world, thus I am but a child, and the universe determines who I am, where I will be, and whatever life I'd have... Or not have. Death. Such sweet companion. Burn me down. Scatter my ashes. Should it matter? This breathing excuse. This daylight-torn realism. It should, but it

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1123653180809471602005-08-10T13:49:00.000+08:002005-08-10T13:53:00.816+08:00

Dear ------------, This may probably be the very first time you're going to read my blog, and be surprised that I even have one. It is your decision whether or not to read everything from this recent post up to the oldest one, because I have to warn you that most posts here are about you. Yes, about you (but of course, your identity has been concealed...they don't know you)...and about me...and

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1123256747278471562005-08-05T23:44:00.000+08:002005-08-05T23:45:47.283+08:00

Today is a day for grievance. My heart mourns for the loss of an admirable man, one who kept his feet on the ground, despite his reputation being way above the skies.Raul Roco was fetched by angels this morning.Let us all pray for him and his family.

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1122978251033009522005-08-02T18:21:00.000+08:002005-08-02T18:24:11.040+08:00

nang sumikat ang araw sa dakong paroon,isang umaga ang aking nasilayan...kay tagal ng panahon bago ko naintindihanang init na bumabalot sa bilog na apoymabigat ang dinadala ngunit patuloy na nagbibigaynakikinig, nakikidalamhati...nasasaktan subalit nagtitiis,patuloy na nagbibigay ng init, ng pagmamahalumiiyak, sumasamong matapos na ang lahatsubalit sa gitna nito'y pinipilit maging matatagpara sa

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1121343754325933222005-07-14T20:04:00.000+08:002005-07-14T20:22:34.330+08:00

Discover yourself. Look in the mirror and face the monster you have created, the demon that could never be pushed away because it resides deep within you, farther than the depth you intended it to be in. Though you try to pinch yourself, you could never wake up from this nightmare, and the screams that you hear every night will shatter the glass you have built around yourself for protection. It's

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1120592384827948642005-07-06T03:38:00.000+08:002005-07-06T03:39:44.830+08:00

Actually couldn't believe this. First time I stayed in the office overnight...and I have accomplished only 1/2 of what I actually have to do. (I think.) In full honesty, I have no idea what I'm doing or where this is going. You might say I'm stupid and stubborn for doing this to myself. Why am I allowing a multinational company make a slave out of me for their own profiteering ways? Because

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1120536611850111942005-07-05T12:10:00.000+08:002005-07-05T12:28:30.476+08:00

Heaven is definitely here on earth. Anai took this shot. It's heavenly, isn't it?

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1120536439279052242005-07-05T12:07:00.000+08:002005-07-05T12:28:55.510+08:00

This is picture perfect!!! Feel the breeze while on a yacht...hehehehe as if... =)

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1120536388742077802005-07-05T12:06:00.000+08:002005-07-05T12:29:08.410+08:00

With Abby, Janjan, Ivan and Anai!!! =)

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1120536259847651622005-07-05T12:04:00.000+08:002005-07-05T12:29:21.220+08:00

Dinner at White Beach =)

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1120292065340793712005-07-02T15:31:00.000+08:002005-07-02T16:14:25.383+08:00

What is more truly essential in life? You'll never really know until you've got it in your hands, and then watch it slowly slip through your fingers. I think most of us regret losing things, or even people. You know, when we fail to keep them, simply because we become engrossed with our own lives that we forget how to value blessings sent our way. It's been quite a tedious cycle, hasn't it

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1119968755190224072005-06-28T22:24:00.000+08:002005-06-28T22:25:55.196+08:00

Martes na naman. Hindi ko man lang namalayang lumipas ang isa pang buwan. Walang nagbago. Walang nag-iba. Araw-araw, iisa lang ang takbo ng buhay ko...papunta saan? Ewan. Hindi ko alam. Ang nakalipas na mga araw ay tila isang panaginip, mistulang eksena sa pelikulang hindi ko mapahalagahan. Siguro kulang lang ako sa tulog, pero kabilang na nga ako sa samahan ng MASA (Masandal Tulog). Ilang beses

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1119501277965365972005-06-23T12:32:00.000+08:002005-06-23T12:34:37.970+08:00

mapapatawad pa ba sa gitna ng pag-aalinlangan?matututunan pa kayang pagkatiwalaan matapos ang mga kasinungalingan?o magiging manlalakbay na puno ng poot at hinagpismula sa nakaraan, isang nakaraang humihila sa iyong mga paa...tulala at nagkukunwari…tila nananahimik, subalit hindi mapakali…sa pagdilat ng mga mata, unti-unting nabasa ang mga labing mga luhang tumutulo sa iyong mga pisngi...hanggang

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1118635173610339942005-06-13T11:55:00.000+08:002005-06-13T12:06:03.490+08:00

umiiyak ang sanggol,naghahanap ng initmula sa mga palad na minsan nyang nakagisnansubalit ngayo'y naglaho sa itim na usok ng pagkakataon...dinggin mo ang ungol,buksan ang mga mata sa dalamhati, pighati at pagpapakasakitna noon pa'y nariyan na...makinig ka...hinding-hindi na matatakasan pasapagkat karugtong nito ng iyong bawat paghinga; ang dugong dumadaloy sa iyong pusoday iyong dugong dumadaloy

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1117804666628874742005-06-03T19:14:00.000+08:002005-06-03T21:17:46.686+08:00

Song for the week: Gandang Sinauna at SariwaKay tagal bago Kita minahalGandang sinauna at sariwaTapat Kang nanahan sa 'king kaloobanNgunit hinahanap pa rin kahit saan Kay tagal bago Kita minahalGandang sinauna at sariwaAko'y nagpabihag sa likha Mong tananDi ko akalaing Ikaw pala'y nilisan Ako'y tinawagan mula sa katahimikanPinukaw Mo ang aking pandinigBiglang luminaw ang awit ng daigdig Kay tagal

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1117104675470834922005-05-26T18:49:00.000+08:002005-05-26T18:51:15.476+08:00

He looked at me with downcast eyes, whispering words of affection that should have made me stay, but still, I turned my back on him and walked away. Maybe it was my pride...Or just that independent side of mine, where my heart was finally ruled over by my mind.For so many sleepless nights, I pondered at how unfair it was. He had two people loving him, while I was stupidly believing it was I he

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1116678112191832392005-05-21T19:52:00.000+08:002005-05-21T20:21:52.196+08:00

One morning, I woke up and felt the sun shining down on my face. Oh, how beautiful this life is. What a wonderful world, I told myself.However, at the back of my mind lies the disappoinment at how messed up reality is.On my way back to work from the hospital, I saw those children, reaching out their tiny hands for alms, and I controlled myself not to spare any. That sounds ironic, doesn't it?

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1116320583756208252005-05-17T16:56:00.000+08:002005-05-17T17:03:03.756+08:00

Your voice is a lullabye, a soothing embrace in life’s terrible storm,A song that pacifies the restlessness of this wandering soul,Adrift, purposeless, treading quite a meaningless journey,Yet by your side, by your song, there is a sense in my existence…Finally found…because of you…

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1116319801582471372005-05-17T16:25:00.000+08:002005-05-17T16:50:01.620+08:00

I know this sounds ridiculous, but I want to share this poem I recently made (after so long of being uninspired to write anything of that kind). The poem isn't for anybody, which is the weird part. So what made me write it? Who inspired me to scribble the words down, and feel the emotion as if these were running in my veins as real as they could possibly be?your face, by the sun's shaft of

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1112783565156196062005-04-06T18:30:00.001+08:002005-04-06T18:32:45.156+08:00

The most ill-humored event happened Monday of this week. Just as I was conditioning myself to have a very good mood the entire week, this new trial had to come along. I know this is something I could surpass, well, because I must, but somehow, I can’t help but feel irritated and annoyed and depressed and ruined and…so, so tired.Just like that, everything you worked hard for would become null.

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1112363646012537982005-04-01T21:52:00.000+08:002005-04-01T21:54:06.013+08:00

I never proclaimed myself as good nor religious. I never tell other people I’m better than them nor do I think so. It never occurred to me that I could pass as an angel or a saint. But I do try very hard not to disappoint my parents in terms of living up to the principles they reared me with, though it’s no secret, my life doesn’t assure me possession to the keys of heaven.That’s why hearing

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1111302051127522992005-03-20T14:53:00.000+08:002005-03-20T15:00:51.126+08:00

I'm losing myself again...it's eating me up inside.I have no more social life, try as I may to think that I do. Even when I rarely go out to be with friends or family, it always helped to take my mind off things that drain me. Now, it's such a sad, sad reality to accept that I can't find the time to be happy...and stay happy...happiness seems to belong with uncertainty, only fleeting and

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1110969639135923822005-03-16T17:21:00.000+08:002005-03-16T19:50:37.980+08:00

Believe it or not, but I'm enjoying work!Daryl warned me about the company being really toxic and all, but I just love it! Somehow, I think I'm getting the hang of it...even when my brain goes from calm and patient to panicky and really, really jittery. Come to think of it, God heard my prayers and knew what was really best for me. He knew that I wouldn't fit in a job, which required going out

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1110778561066847112005-03-14T13:34:00.000+08:002005-03-14T13:36:01.070+08:00

Sleep is good. Not only did it rejuvenate my tired skin, it also refreshed my almost dying soul. Funny how I forgot this, as simple as it is,but I guess when we're too caught up with the world and all its rackets...we just forget. One more thing, I have been losing myself because I was getting detached from the only thing that fulfills my hunger and thirst. It has been 3 Sundaysin a row that I

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1110512385162043652005-03-11T11:34:00.000+08:002005-03-11T11:39:45.166+08:00

When you reached out, I put my hand in yoursOur fingers clasped and you owned my heart…The warmth of your touch I still recallThough vague…though surreal…though an illusion…It was but a dream: that happy ending…As love was just a diversion, an assumptionFor in my reality, heaven is as good as hellAnd the darkness is the only real thingMy heart is broken for the millionth time. When I saw him

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1110448661331660722005-03-10T17:53:00.000+08:002005-03-10T17:57:41.333+08:00

I couldn't believe it. It has only been 3 weeks since that day when I had to end it all...and today, I saw him. How unfair it is to hate him when I recall the times spent together, yet still love him, long for him...because it is only from afar that I could do so..."Oo nga, you'll give me what I want...the independence, the freedom, my moving on...pero hindi mo ba naisip na kaya ko lang pinili

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1110287751824338912005-03-08T21:14:00.000+08:002005-03-09T10:57:22.600+08:00

WTF?!!!! How could a good start end up so shitty?This stupid headache is killing me, and I just couldn't seem to concentrate on what I need to do. The clock says 8:13 pm, and I'm stuck with an account that doesn't want to enter the module I just coded...Are aliens abducting me? Or am I just slowly losing it?Don't mess around with me now...I just might mess you up.

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1109762615033731832005-03-02T19:17:00.000+08:002005-03-02T19:23:35.036+08:00

Rj called the other day and told me that his mom was confined at Makati Medical Center due to a heart problem. Since I was within the vicinity, I decided to visit.I left the office at around 9 and it took me 30 minutes to walk along Ayala Avenue before reaching the hospital, but my feet didn't seem to mind. I enjoyed walking, especially under the moonlit sky...I was excited to see my bestfriend

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1109762238851063442005-03-02T19:13:00.000+08:002005-03-02T19:17:18.853+08:00

I'm no love guru...but it's easy to spot people who are in love. You see it in their eyes, the way they look at each other and somehow, you also feel it in their touch, although not an inch of their skin is touching mine.Sometimes, people deny it...out of fear that the other person might avoid him/her if he/she found out, but still, their longingness for that person is so obvious. I guess, they

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1109679673833269092005-03-01T20:21:00.000+08:002005-03-01T20:24:08.326+08:00

Just a day to spare...it's worth every ounce of sweat!

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1109679283266119642005-03-01T18:40:00.000+08:002005-03-01T20:14:43.266+08:00

I remember telling my mother the night of Saturday, "Ma, masaya ako."I just came home from the company's corporate citizenship activity that time, wherein we tied up with Habitat for Humanity and Hands-on Manila. Although I was tired and exhausted from merely passing on pails of cement, the fulfillment I felt was overwhelming. The sun's heat reminded me that I was fully alive, capable of doing

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1109331046245296212005-02-25T19:04:00.000+08:002005-02-25T19:30:46.246+08:00

Before the life-altering misfortune struck my family, I wanted to become a doctor of children (aka pediatrics). I thought it was the end of my life when I found out I couldn't pursue it anymore.But you know what, I learned I shouldn't stop dreaming just because our dreams may seem impossible to reach. There are other roads to take if only we take the time to open our eyes a little more and see

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1109047845225850632005-02-22T12:49:00.000+08:002005-02-25T18:59:44.163+08:00

Guess I couldn't keep myself from blogging! Well, writing has been a part of my life and somehow, I just love to do it. If there's anything I'm passionate about, this is it.I started keeping a journal since I was 14 years old. Growing up as an only child, I've dealt with thinking of ways to keep myself busy, and since I rarely go out, I found enjoyment in reading books and writing everyday,

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1108960670496989852005-02-21T08:38:00.000+08:002005-02-21T12:37:50.520+08:00

I used to joke my mom about what took her and my dad so long before they tied the knot. You see, they both got married in their early forties, and every time I'd ask her about it, she's just simply smile at me, as if saying, "You would understand in due time." Certainly, that time has come. Ever since I opened myself up to the world, I was always

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1108526764967341412005-02-16T11:59:00.000+08:002005-02-16T13:24:47.630+08:00

Information Overload.Just had a walkthrough with one of my application architects, and since I'm relatively still 'learning', my mind is going into panic mode, desperately trying to absorb everything she just told me, but my heart is jumping from my guts to my brain.Okay...we're going to have lunch now. I need to breathe in air...any kind of air.

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1108368240027908622005-02-14T15:54:00.000+08:002005-02-14T18:59:40.690+08:00

It's Valentine's Day...there's a reason for people to become sappy and mushy...and I hate it when the spirit of the season gets to me. Good thing, it's just one day.So, let me have today...just today...to be true to myself...give me these remaining hours to miss him and feel the pain all over again...because perhaps the hurt never left...the heartbreak was only covered...because I knew I had to

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1108101332650559522005-02-11T13:40:00.000+08:002005-02-19T14:33:42.080+08:00

Couldn't believe it's the end of the week again...sigh.Some people jump up and down whenever this day comes, but all I ever did when I woke up was give out a heavy sigh. Fridays and Mondays are the most depressing days for me...it's actually difficult to explain, though I'll try...Monday is the first day of the week, right? Not knowing what's up for the week is the fun part. I LOVE surprises, and

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1107910303550878842005-02-09T08:39:00.000+08:002005-02-09T08:51:43.550+08:00

Night after night and day by day, I celebrate the freedom... I follow the trail that fate has paved, and cry for the best years of my life! Because heaven has blessed me with irreplaceable treasures, found in the dearest of friends... Though moments spent have become memories, I cherish the best years of my life. As I watch the sands of time slip through my fingers, I recall the smiles brought

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1107909521003008852005-02-09T08:29:00.000+08:002005-02-09T08:38:41.003+08:00

Watch the raindrops trickle down the windowpane... Be engulfed in the mixture of emotionsand just let the tears fall down. Then, heave with every breath of sorrow. Speak the language of the soul,muttered by the anguished heart;just taste the bitterness of love's past, then, let the tears dry on your lips. Let it dry. Let it die. Let the wind wash it all away.Let the rain cleanse the pain. Then,

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1107908916799186452005-02-09T08:19:00.000+08:002005-02-09T08:28:36.800+08:00

Why love me now when it has ended?Why express sentiments after I let you go?It is but mere need that pulls you towards me,a need out of desperation and unhappiness...a yearning I may have filled beforebut you left ignored and unappreciated...This bittersweet vengeance in unintentional,but a living proof that the heart grows tired...weary from waiting all those times,seeming like centuries when

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1107754055107478932005-02-07T13:55:00.000+08:002005-02-08T09:55:04.596+08:00

It's Monday again, the start of another week. Sigh. How time flies! Didn't even realize January was over until today. The first month has passed and soon, we'll be celebrating another new year... I've somewhat adjusted to work already. =) The people in my team have been so fun to work with, and then, there are the Cobolleros...There are already so many treasured experiences despite the short span

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1107478561028881572005-02-04T08:56:00.000+08:002005-02-04T08:56:55.826+08:00

Fun times...living them still as if they were in the "now"...

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1107478490809445722005-02-04T08:54:00.000+08:002005-02-04T08:57:10.373+08:00

These are just some of the people I dearly miss...

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1107333003421667712005-02-02T16:29:00.000+08:002005-02-02T16:30:03.436+08:00

I may be coming down with a fever. My body has been fighting the viruses which are trying to plague my system for two weeks now…and I think that if I don’t get enough rest tonight, it will succeed. Reasons why I feel I’m going to get sick: Lack of sleep. I only get real rest on weekends, meaning complete 8 hours of sleep, without having to wake up before the rooster crows. It’s fascinating,

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1107235317079646222005-02-01T13:21:00.000+08:002005-02-01T13:23:53.453+08:00

Live each day as if it were your last, but keep all learnings from past mistakes...the sun may set, but as long as the world turns, there will always be a new day ahead. Photograph by Ian Britton

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1107229172811772212005-02-01T11:09:00.000+08:002005-02-02T07:54:21.370+08:00

What gets better everyday?!!! Life. Waking up to each brand new day, and welcoming the sunshine to touch my skin and warm my heart...these are the things I look forward to everyday. I am reborn every time I wake up even when I die every evening as I sleep. The weekend that just passed was an eye-opener. After a long, long time, I was able to sit, relax, unwind...and think, just think about my

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1107154345945938632005-01-31T13:59:00.000+08:002005-02-02T07:55:17.626+08:00

I think I make my own problems, welcome my own depression and concoct my own heartbreak, because in reality, nobody could ever hurt me. Nobody could ever turn me down. Nobody could push and pull me against the wall, because this is my life. Mine alone, and no one else's. Upon waking up this morning, I suddenly realized there was too much hatred residing within me. Behind the smiles and jolly

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1106805744834424222005-01-27T13:52:00.000+08:002005-02-02T07:55:59.343+08:00

pseudo: false; deceptive; sham; not genuine but having the appearance of; a person who makes deceitful pretenses temptress: an alluring, bewitching woman; enchantress: a woman who is considered to be dangerously seductive Defining the url for this blog should have been done a long time ago, but I guess I wasn't able to find the words to do so. Prompted by an uncontrollable desire to vent out my

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1106217133739838932005-01-20T18:08:00.001+08:002005-02-02T07:57:17.066+08:00

My saturation period has been reached...my soul is thirsty, my skin too dry...the sun has set to meet my doom,tomorrow is just another reality ending too soon. Without a warning, it dawns upon me...the string that ties around my heart, my head, my sanityhas all been just a lie...there's nothing to pull me out...nothing to bind me down...no one to chain me.I am but me, not alone,though alone...

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1104990595317235752005-01-06T13:46:00.000+08:002005-02-02T07:57:48.963+08:00

My mother always told me not to haste life and love. I remember her say, “All in due time,” and you know what, I believe her. Everything does come in its proper time and all the reasons would be rationalized one way or another. I was what she categorized as a “late bloomer”, and sometimes I still like to think of myself as childlike. (*Take note: not childish* : ) To see life through the eyes

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1103770591401094772004-12-23T10:55:00.000+08:002005-02-02T07:58:18.426+08:00

The coldness of the season has finally taken its toll on me. On my way home last night, I felt the breeze on my skin…I wanted to look up at the sky and see if stars were twinkling brightly, but a voice held me back. There were so many memories, too many recollections, too much pain for the heart to endure. This is probably the stage that I could notably call, ‘moving-on-relapse’, wherein

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1103246568974957992004-12-17T09:22:00.000+08:002005-02-02T07:58:49.223+08:00

Every girl dreams of having a significant other...be it the charming prince who'd sweep a damsel in distress off her feet or the poor boy who'd win the princess' love with his big heart... In the stillness of the night, we look up at the stars and wish on the brightest one, hoping against hope that the person we greet the new day with would be the ‘one’. Searching and waiting…such a tedious

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1102669130704800992004-12-10T20:38:00.000+08:002005-02-02T07:59:45.276+08:00

Have I finally taught myself to become numb to an emotion everybody else is talking about...feeling...appreciating? It only seemed like yesterday when I felt the piercing, and I imagined myself taking revenge on an affection that never meant to bring forth hatred, only solace and distress, so as to make us realize the importance of cherishing happy moments. I remember how I couldn't wait to see a

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1102411681367597532004-12-07T17:14:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:00:23.116+08:00

There isn't enough years for me to be able to look back at what used-to-be with sweet revelry. Somehow the pain still lingers on, and I have learned to live with it, despite my constant prayers for amnesia. Little by little though, I have managed to leave all regrets behind. There has been so many things I've gained, even when I feel I've gone through the worst, so maybe, experiencing the hurt

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1101374826073876642004-11-25T17:57:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:01:38.696+08:00

I'm the one who got away...I was the one who left him stranded...I may have been the one who gave up on 'us'...But I never would have let go if only he assured me. I recently found out that there's nothing more irritating than your past fitting into your present. There's a battle needed to be won as his ghost materializes and comes to ruin your life once again. This time, though, I know how to

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1100596157287991892004-11-16T17:26:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:02:18.110+08:00

Love is a gamble...and there are no flashes nor straights that could mend your heart when it breaks.

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1100585500730288902004-11-16T11:21:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:03:08.263+08:00

I dare not. "Do I stoop down so low?" These were the words I blurted out after hearing his insane accusation. At first, the ridiculous idea offended me, but eventually I found the sarcastic humor to laugh it off. Then at the end of our conversation, the once forgotten hurt resurfaced. This time, though, it wasn't caused by a broken heart. Instead, the pain of insult returned to haunt me. It

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1097829222892555962004-10-15T16:07:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:04:08.036+08:00

Lately I've been pondering at how some people could throw a friendship away so easily, to think that you've been friends for what seemed like ages. The trials you both overcame and the laughter you once shared don't seem enough to make the relationship go further. We entrusted each other with our secrets, but now, we're worse than enemies. She's making me non-existent in her life. Ouch. It

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1094889739028914292004-09-11T16:58:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:04:52.436+08:00

A lovely face that charms and mystifies;brilliant and majestic even with blinded eyes.Beauty that permeates through thick invisible walls...Flowing, viscous, radiant light, all over the body, crawls.But alas! Sorrow and grief behind all the royalty;pain and suffering underneath the vanity...a youthful glow masked with porcelain skin...hiding a dying soul, concealed within...Those who admire

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1094704833826561392004-09-09T13:36:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:05:48.223+08:00

Take my hand. We’ll walk awhile, talk awhile… It was so easy for you to have taken the risk. I, on the other hand, had to plead the angels above to whisper in my ear that I was doing the right thing. You never knew what a big sacrifice it was for me to give in to the emotion, to take your hand, and to walk beside you. You never knew all about the conflicts I had to deal with alone, as well as

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1094554819712520472004-09-07T18:56:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:06:37.376+08:00

I carefully stared at his picture while it burned. His look was stern and strict, as if revealing masculinity and strength as he overcame life’s painful tests. Every line and every curve has been imprinted on my memory, but I at least had to try to forget. A single spark now slowly blazed into a fiery flame, as if dancing to the lamenting melody sung by my heart. Not once did he ask me to dance

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1093933322094071562004-08-31T14:15:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:07:20.056+08:00

Days are passing by...and I'm getting restless.Happy moments are but fleeting ones, and I try to cope up with the agonizing hours. God, until when?

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1093600624792440142004-08-27T17:40:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:08:01.540+08:00

I don't live in a mansion, but I'm rich... I don't have lots of money, but I'm rich... I know I can't possess every material thing there is, but still, I know I'm rich... And though there are no treasures buried in my backyard, I know I'm the richest person alive... I'm rich because I'm deeply loved by the people around me. They shower their affection ever so warmly that it sometimes seems their

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1093423140819112572004-08-25T16:16:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:08:49.020+08:00

Rain poured heavily outside as I watched children run wildly back into their homes. I remember when I used to be one of those kids, shouting with glee as I played tag with the other neighborhood kids. Bruised knees and scraped elbows didn't stop me from having the time of my life. It used to be so simple then... Now, a broken heart has temporarily chained me to insanity. So, who broke my heart?

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1093255158584486622004-08-23T17:49:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:09:10.350+08:00

I'm getting the birthday blues. In a few day's time, I'll be a year older. Wrinkles are starting to crease on my forehead, and somehow, my smile is turning into a frown more often. I think that's what you get when you think about a lot of things, even when you shouldn't. The best gift this time around would be a job. It's been a pain in the butt looking for a job I'm not even sure I'll be happy

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1093254337056882482004-08-23T17:04:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:10:18.976+08:00

I used to think it was such a big deal to break-up. I often made a fuss about being left behind or having my love taken for granted. Somehow, along the path of picking up the broken pieces of me, I have realized that he was too damn undeserving for what I was giving. Some people may think that I'm bitter, but hey, there's one thing I've got to say...I'm Better. Gone are the days of becoming

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1092985612710184082004-08-20T14:52:00.001+08:002005-02-02T08:10:52.166+08:00

my vulnerability has taken its toll I only have myself to catch me from the fall to get back in the nook I have to crawl Coz when i loved you, i lost it all although many times i wanted you to stay things aren't right so i'll let you fade away i'm like a sheep who's lost and astray without a shepherd to guide my way so many times you made me cry i'm tired of even wondering how and why that's why

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1092576924956556912004-08-15T21:31:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:11:22.836+08:00

Escape is easy. Acceptance is dreadful. Everything I did and everything I said...they all had their reasons, but why does it seem so difficult to face the facts? I want you to leave me alone... I won't live and breathe behind your shadows anymore... I'm setting myself free.

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1091961427756581782004-08-08T18:10:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:12:22.936+08:00

Summer days have quickly gone as the songs of hummingbirds faded. In a world of misery, not a tone of glee could be heard, only sighs coming from a hopeless heart. An image of a lost soul slowly came to mind although experience already defined her entire being. With downcast eyes, she looked beyond the horizon and across the still waters, she found no glint of relief from the exhaustion of her

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1091517190099777952004-08-03T15:09:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:12:57.843+08:00

*** Pseudotemptress was hurt. She was angry. She let the demon out. After she wrote this, pseudotemptress had her peace of mind. *** Pardon me, do I know you? You call upon me as if you do I have forgotten your voice... such a bittersweet choice... But to forget all the words you used to whisper and not to remember times spent together, makes my life a whole lot better each day, erasing every

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1089977011115410972004-07-16T19:20:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:14:00.370+08:00

He asked, "Why me?" I stared at him, and smiled... Even I didn't have the answer to that. All I did was listen to silence... listen just as my heart spoke... It chose him.

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1089691245250239432004-07-13T11:58:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:14:29.376+08:00

i swallowed freedom down into my guts...it struggled...but i didn't want to let it go...no, not this time. isn't it ironic how freedom makes us free, but it in itself isn't? maybe the reason why we constantly tie chains around freedom is because it's the only thing that stays though we choke it...

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1089349513826214222004-07-09T13:51:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:15:13.836+08:00

it's been so long since i last heard her... hush... can't you see, i'm trying to hear what it is she's whispering... but she stopped, and began walking away where did she go? no, i won't let her go this time... the imprints of her footsteps have been buried deep into the sand... i searched for her, but it's hard looking through the thick fog... "Hey!" I shouted, but she made no reply The smoke

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423090.post-1075999288582614362004-02-06T01:40:00.000+08:002005-02-02T08:15:46.293+08:00

When the mind goes weary, the heart saves my sanity. His voice is all I need to hear...

keep smilingnoreply@blogger.com